Homesick Feelz

Have you ever felt like a tourist in the town you live?

MENTAL HEALTH

feelzpodcast

2021-07-02 4 min read

Have you ever moved somewhere that feels like it will never be home?
Are you a medium maintenance Libran like me who requires their environment to be completely in balance 24/7 HUN?

If not, stop reading. The following article on homesickness will be immensely boring for you darlz.

For those still here, let us frolic in these mind words.

As mentioned seventeen times prior, I do not like Sydney. Time after TIME I have iterated this point which wears on your eardrums like an old used frock. WOTS WRONG WITH SEEDNEY? It may be the fact that the entire vibe dangles on sad mortgages, MJ Bale and ScoMo fanatics (people under 30 vote for him here, non fiction). Regardless of specifics, it is not and never will be somewhere I call home.

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All this considered, I do not regret my last 1.5 years in this shithole. I moved here to be with my epic partner who snagged a brilliant career opportunity. Neither of us could have foreseen the COVIDness that was to come. This covidness further entrapped me in Sydney’s web of wank. Despite the fact that I spend almost every waking hour fantasising about leaving, living here has provided me with bumloads of resilience.

If you’re currently feeling like a tourist in the town you live, this is how feeling homesick has shifted my perspective in lyf.


1) I had no idea how important community was to me.

I’d been in Melbourne almost 8 years before I moved here to Syd. To be honest, in Melbourne I was feeling bored and my feet were ready to pitter patter off elsewhere. Whilst my hometown is a beautiful city, I felt the need to explore new cultures and take a break from my daily loop. I always considered myself a super independent human-woman. By the age of sixteen, I had moved across 26 different houses, I considered myself incredibly flexible in terms of living arrangements. LIKE AN ADAPTABLE UNATTACHED SHE-WOLF. However it appears you don’t know wot you got ’til itz gone gurl. I was completely taking for granted the community and family I had built in back in Melbourne. In Sydney, there’s very little support here, and making friends is notoriously difficult (not unusual for large populations across a wide geographic spread). The inability to see my loved ones through COVID was incredibly painful, but being forced to function without them since early 2020 has been a wake up call. This experience has enabled me to question and therefore shape the future I want for me, Lou and our little Malti-Shit Nash.

2) Bitch has learnt how to live in discomfort.

Ricky of Boy Under the Bridge had a similar experience during a one-year long stint to Sydney. I asked him for practical advice in order to push through this level of homesickness. “Treat everything as an adventure”, he wisdomised. “Sydney is a part of your life story now. Find things that are new and exciting. A bakery or coffee shop that’s nothing like your old Melbourne spots”. This advice was easy as balls and worked a treat. Over the last few months I have managed to find treasures across the city, including but not limited to Mentmore & Morley for a smooth cup of coffee or Sunday Road Brewing for a coastal beer. This strategy has been so effective that I believe I will deeply miss these spots once I exit.

3) Homesickness has kept me off social media.

I rant about this consistently across Feelz. One of my prominent concerns for my own mental health is the use of social media across my week. We know the reality regarding the emotional affects of apps like Instagram and Facebook. Yasss I know, I sound like a gorjus cynical bitch when I moan about our phone use. Of course, social media has its (small) place in society etcetera and so forth. For example, would you know Feelz existed if I had not have sold my herpes ridden soul to the devil and signed up for Instagram? Of course there are benefits. But my genuine belief is that the negatives outweigh the positives. Through my early bouts of homesickness, I became addicted to my phone. I slept with it under my pillow for over a year, droopy eyes gazing over the activities of those I love. Over time, seeing my friends living the life I used to day in day out became sore on my heart muscles. This has supported my decision to leave my iphone on the charger more often, and allow time to focus on the good shit happening for me right now. In reducing my time online, I have noticed my ability to focus is increasing whilst my self-esteem is as refreshed as a crisp pale ale to the soul.

Thanks for reading all these feely feelingz on homesickness. I know that many of you feel unsettled in your towns and cities. I am lucky enough to live with a degree of privilege in that I can choose where I live, eat and breathe in this country. Like the gr8 Jenny Craig, I aspire to choose right and live well. Whilst unlike Jenny I am happy turning into a big blobby blob, it’s important that I choose the right environment as I grow older. If you are not happy where you live, you deserve more fam. If you cannot do anything about it right now, I hope like me you’re able to find the golden nuggets inside of your emotional cattle dung.


xoxoxo

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